Forgiveness Revisited - The Necessity of Repentance and The Heart Grief
Introduction
The swell of reaction to the murder of Charlie Kirk climaxed on Sunday, September 21st, in his memorial service, which really seemed like a gigantic Christian worship service. For the record, this was all a very good thing. What happened on that Lord’s day was wonderful, and I believe the Lord was pleased. Some 200,000 Christians gathered, not only to remember the life of the man Charlie Kirk, but to look beyond him to remember the life of an even better man, the Lord of Glory, Jesus Christ. There was praise music, prayer, and good preaching from actual pastors who are not wolves in sheep’s clothing. There was an exhortation to repentance; a proclamation of the only saving message in existence: the Gospel of the Kingdom; a reminder that God hates evil and loves the good; and much more. What has risen to the top like cream, however, was Erika Kirk’s declaration of forgiveness toward the man who murdered her husband and made her a widow. She said, “That young man—I forgive him. I forgive him because it was what Christ did and what Charlie would do.”
Compassion For My Grieving Sister
In this article, I do not intend at all to condemn Mrs. Kirk. I actually think what she did was good and right. I believe, given the public nature of Kirk’s execution, and the need for our country to turn back to Christ, and our need for biblical language to be on display for all to see and hear, her public expression of forgiveness was most appropriate. While those of a cynical nature in our country may view her statements as a stunt, I believe they were genuine and came from a heart that sincerely desires to be obedient to the Lord. This is all very good; this is all very right. As a slave of Christ, she is obligated to obey her Lord, and since the Lord gave her a worldwide stage, she ought to show her obedience clearly and loudly. For all this, I am grateful.
Likewise, she was correct, Christ did come to seek and save that which was lost. He has come to remove from us the stain of evil and wickedness. The scripture very plainly tells us that Jesus is faithful and just to forgive us our sins (1 John 1:9)—every one of them—finally and fully. This you can and should rest and rely upon.
Additionally, I know what forgiveness does for the forgiver. The spiritual benefits of forgiveness are no small thing. In the first place, forgiving others makes us like God, loving our enemies, which, for the Christian, is a great comfort in and of itself. Forgiving our enemies releases us from the need for vengeance—we leave it up to God to repay, and trust that his arm of justice (the government) will do just that if the circumstances call for it. Forgiveness also reminds the forgiver of the depth of God’s love and how great a gift he or she has been given from the Lord—if God can forgive me for the sins (so the thought goes) I have committed against him, then certainly I can forgive this far lesser sin against myself. Forgiving others, in other words, makes us a more compassionate people, ready to look upon the sinner with compassion, knowing that we have, ourselves, been shown supernatural compassion.
Therefore, I understand what my sister in Christ did, and I understand why my sister did what she did.
The Need for Gospel Clarity
Forgiveness, if it is to be biblical, must be seen as a double-sided coin. The passage I cited above, 1 John 1:9, does certainly tell us that God is faithful to forgive us of our sins, but that’s not the whole passage. It says, “If we confess our sins, [God] is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” In other words, forgiveness isn’t free—how could it be? Forgiveness costs something of greater value than all the precious metals and digital coins this world could ever offer. It cost the very blood of the Son of God—Jesus Christ! Forgiveness is certainly not free. In 1 Corinthians 6:20, Paul says that Christians were “bought with a price.” We were purchased like slaves on the auction block, because that’s what we were: slaves to sin. But what was that price for our life? The life of Christ! Of course! And since he paid such a high price for his people, God forbid we treat this gift with glibness or flippancy.
The cost now to us, to receive the forgiveness of our sins, is to acknowledge that we have sinned; it is to acknowledge that we have done the very thing that required the death of Christ in the first place. And the scripture is clear, unless we repent, then we will never be forgiven:
Acts 2:38
On the Day of Pentecost, the Apostle Peter addresses the crowd, explaining that forgiveness is tied to repentance.
"And Peter said to them, 'Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit'".
Acts 3:19
After healing a lame man, Peter gives a second sermon stressing the urgency of repentance.
This passage states that to have sins blotted out and receive times of refreshing from the Lord's presence, one must "Repent therefore, and turn back".
Luke 13:3–5
Jesus emphasizes the necessity of repentance for everyone, stating, "Unless you repent, you will all likewise perish".
Luke 24:46–47
Jesus instructs his disciples to preach a message of repentance for the forgiveness of sins to all nations.
Acts 17:30–31
Paul declares that God commands everyone to repent in anticipation of a future judgment.
1 John 1:9
John highlights that confessing sins is essential to receive God's forgiveness and cleansing.
Matthew 4:17
Jesus' own proclamation was the need for repentance.
"From that time Jesus began to preach, saying, 'Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand'".
Luke 5:32
In response to the Pharisees, Jesus stated, "I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance". This emphasizes that his mission is to bring about a change of heart in those who have strayed through repentance.
Acts 11:18
Believers acknowledge that God has granted repentance leading to life even to the Gentiles.
The teaching of forgiveness without the component of repentance is actually a .30-06 blow to the Gospel. What is the world to do in the pronouncement that the Kingdom of God is at hand? Just expect God to forgive? No. It is obligated to repent! Then forgiveness comes.
The Order of Salvation
The issue that some may have with what is stated above is that they will see it as a work, as if by this I am saying that we’re earning our forgiveness, or at the very least, if we must repent, then forgiveness is no longer free. But, even when we contemplate the theological order of God’s saving act, we see that forgiveness comes only after repentance.
The Order:
Election
Calling (inward and outward)
Regeneration
Conversion (faith and repentance)
Justification
Sanctification
Glorification
Now, the astute observer will say, “But wait, the only reason why a person repents in the first place is because they have already been regenerated—given a new heart—and this is before repentance.” This is very true, but while regeneration is the place where the heart is replaced and the Holy Spirit quickens the spirit of the man, it is not where forgiveness takes place.
Forgiveness takes place in the realm of justification. In the justification of a newly regenerated person, the divine judge declared the newly adopted child to be righteous, and this occurs in two ways. First, all the person's sins, past, present, and future, are forgiven and God no longer holds those sins against him or her because at that moment the wrath those sins deserved was shifted to Jesus Christ. Second, the perfect righteousness of Christ he earned from his life and death, is imputed to the new son or daughter of God.
This justification one receives, however, is only after the person repents by faith, not before. Justification/forgiveness/imputed righteousness comes only after one has repented of their sins and placed their faith in Christ. These are the works of faith; they are not meritorious, but they are the works that God commands faith to do, which lead to these three benefits. The Westminster Confession of Faith describes works of justifying faith as "receiving and resting upon Christ and his righteousness." “Receiving” and “resting” are actions of faith; they are verbs. They are all actions that faith is accomplishing, which leads to justification. And of course, because it must be said, these are all the fruit of the Spirit's monergistic regeneration.
Therefore, without recognizing the desperate need for repentance, we actually lose the Gospel.
A Humble Course Correction
In light of all this, what do we do? Well, again, I’m not condemning a grieving widow. Yet, for the strength of our churches, and for any hope of our country to be made strong again, the recognition of the need for repentance must be acknowledged and understood. One simply cannot issue the words “I forgive you” biblically without the transgressor first acknowledging their sin and repenting. This is because forgiveness and transactional.
Notice the transactional model in Luke 17
Rebuke the offender: Jesus first commands, "If your brother sins, rebuke him" (Luke 17:3). The goal of this rebuke is to lead the person to an awareness of their sin and a desire to repent. This step initiates the path toward reconciliation and restoration.
Forgive upon repentance: Jesus continues, "and if he repents, forgive him" (Luke 17:3). The "if" in this command is crucial. Forgiveness in its fullest, relational sense—meaning the restoration of a reconciled relationship—is to be granted when the offender acknowledges their sin and turns back from their sin.
Unlimited forgiveness: To demonstrate the depth of this obligation, Jesus adds, "And if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him" (Luke 17:4). This does not mean one's patience can be exhausted after seven cycles, but rather that true forgiveness knows no limits, as long as genuine repentance is present.
It must also be recognized that the bible speaks with one unified, non-contradictory voice. This is crucial because the reason why so many have a view that unilateral and unqualified forgiveness must be granted is because of passages such as this:
Matthew 6:14-15: "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
Matthew 18:23-35: In the parable of the unmerciful servant, Jesus tells a story about a king who forgives his servant an immense debt. The servant, in turn, refuses to forgive a much smaller debt owed to him by a fellow servant. In anger, the king hands the unmerciful servant over to the torturers. Jesus concludes by saying, "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart"
Mark 11:25 says, "And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses".
Christians read this and conclude, “I must forgive immediately every offense against me, otherwise I’ll be condemned,” and non-Christians conclude, “I can use this to my advantage and condemn Christians as unloving when they don’t forgive me right away.” This is an instance of being trained by our enemies.
Because the bible is the singular unified voice of God, these passages and Luke 17 are not in contradiction, but beautifully harmonize with each other. When someone has sinned against us we must have a heart like Christ—compassionate, loving, and ready to forgive—and we should settle in our hearts that we will forgive when they repent (Mark 11:25). This means we treat them kindly, we don’t shun them, but when we see them we do not allow them to forget that their sin is still preventing a relationship from thriving. We remind them of their sin and their need to repent. Lord willing, when they do repent, we rejoice, and since we were ready to forgive them in our hearts, our offer of forgiveness to them is sweet and swift (Luke 17:1-3). And, in the event that a brother or sister does repent and we refuse to grant forgiveness, then our Father in heaven promises that we will also not be forgiven (Matthew 6:14-15) because we are showing that we have never truly received the forgiveness of our Father. If we had, we would be eager to give the same gift to others.
It is important to note also, the scripture commands us to forgive the same way God forgives us:
Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
In other words, the biblical way to forgive, the right way, the proper way, the righteous way to forgive others is the same way God forgives us—through repentance. Unilateral, non-transactional forgiveness that demands no repentance is actually a hollow shell; it accomplishes nothing, and it gives a message to a watching world that God will do something that he has said he will certainly not do.
Conclusion
Two things can be true at once, so again, I am not bringing hell-fire and brimstone down upon my sister's head. I am, however, wanting to bring awareness of the direction the church must go with this doctrine. Without recognizing the need for repentance, a people will never be in communion with God. Because Nineva repented in dust and ashes, God showed them mercy—they did not receive a forgiveness that cost them nothing. America is no different; the church is no different; the family is no different; the individual is no different. We must repent, and we must repent only in the way that God has forgiven us through Jesus Christ—to do otherwise is to sin against the Lord. I don’t think Erika was sinning, for I do not know her heart, nor am I privy to what has happened behind closed doors. I am addressing all those who would look upon her words, and conclude that forgiveness is unilateral and unqualified. We must fall on our faces in humility and seek the Lord while he may be found in order to receive forgiveness. This is a far more important doctrine to get right than it appears at first glance, for it has drastic implications from the individual to the nation.
