Forgiveness: The Never Ending Need

Introduction

The act of forgiveness is five-fold, and consists of confession, repentance, forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration. These are distinct but interconnected steps in a spiritual process of mending broken relationships with God and with other people. The sequence begins with a sinner's honest admission of wrongdoing and concludes with the restoration of the relationship to a state of peace and fellowship. 

Confession

Biblical confession is the act of admitting and taking responsibility for your sin to God and, when necessary, to others you have wronged. It is not an excuse or a minimization of sin but an honest acknowledgment of rebellion against God's holy law. Sin is any lack of conformity to, or transgression of the law of God. So again, any lack of love in thought, word, or deed is sinful, both toward God and your spouse.

• Confessing to God: All sin is ultimately against God. When King David sinned against Bathsheba and Uriah, he confessed, "Against you, you only, have I sinned" (Psalm 51:4). This is because God is preeminently important—over and above any human. We must confess to him first before any creature.

• Confessing to others: If you have wronged another person, confession and a request for forgiveness are necessary for the sake of reconciliation and healing (James 5:16). 

Repentance

While confession is admitting the sin, repentance (Greek: metanoia, "change of mind") is the subsequent action of genuinely turning away from sin and toward righteousness (right living) according to the word of God. It is more than just feeling regret or remorse; it is a conscious decision to change your behavior and align your life with God's will. 

• A changed direction: True repentance results in a changed life, with observable fruit and a persistent pursuit of holy living (Luke 3:8, 2 Timothy 2:19).

• God's gift: Repentance is not something we accomplish on our own, but is a gift granted by God, who works in us to produce this spiritual change (Acts 5:31). 

Forgiveness

Biblical forgiveness is the cancellation of a debt. The promise of God's forgiveness is received through repentance and faith, and Christians are called to extend this same grace to those who sin against them (Ephesians 4:32). 

• Conditional on repentance: Forgiveness from an offended party is granted when the offender genuinely repents and asks for it.

• Freedom from vengeance: As a conscious choice, forgiveness frees you from bitterness and the desire for revenge. It is an intentional action, not a feeling (Luke 17:3).

• It isn’t forgetting, it’s not remembering: Forgiveness does not mean pretending the offense never happened. Instead, it involves a promise not to hold the wrong against the person or bring it up to harm them ever again.

• Jeremiah 31:34 “For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more”

• Isaiah 43:25 “I, I am her who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.”

• Hebrews 8:12 “For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more”

Reconciliation

Reconciliation is the restoration of peace and fellowship in a broken relationship. Here the barrier of the sin committed is removed and there is no longer anything between the two parties 

• With God: Through Christ's death on the cross, God took the initiative to reconcile humanity to himself, changing our relationship from one of enmity to friendship (2 Corinthians 5:18–19).

• With others: A relationship between believers can only be fully reconciled when both the offender and offended participate in the process of confession, repentance, and forgiveness.

• May not be identical: Reconciliation doesn't always mean a return to the exact same closeness as before the offense. Trust may need to be rebuilt over time, and consequences of the sin may remain. 

Restoration

Restoration is the final stage of the process, where God and the affected parties work to return things to their proper or original state. It signifies a renewal that aligns with God's original purpose. 

• Renewed Relationship: Here the offending and offended parties draw near each other as they rebuild what was broken due to the sin. There is a need to “draw” near to each other. In James we are told to draw near to God, and he will likewise draw near to us (James 4:8). Because the sin is no longer between the parties due to reconciliation, restoration is now possible.

• Holistic renewal: This concept encompasses physical, spiritual, and relational renewal. It is God's promise to heal wounds, renew spirits, and rebuild what was broken.

• Begins internally: Restoration is often a lengthy process that begins with deep, inward change, not merely external actions. It is God's work, but it requires human cooperation. 

The Seven A’s of a Good Confession: (Matthew 7:3-5; 1 John 1:8-9; Proverbs 28:13)

1. Address everyone involved (everyone your sin has touched)

2. Avoid if, but, and maybe (no blame shifting. No one made you sin)

3. Admit specifically (don’t be vague; be specific about what you did and why)

4. Acknowledge the hurt (our sin hurts those we sin against; acknowledge the pain that your sin has caused)

5. Accept the consequences (sometimes our sins require consequences: loss of trust, loss of freedom, etc. you must accept them without complaint)

6. Alter your behavior (this is repentance; agree with God that your actions were against his will)

7. Ask for forgiveness

The Four Promises of Forgiveness: (Matthew 6:12; 1 Corinthians 13:5; Ephesians 4:32)

1. I will not dwell on this incident

2. I will not bring the incident up and use it against you

3. I will not talk to other about this incident

4. I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder our personal relationship